she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
