I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Boobs speak an international language.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
