Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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