where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so explain again why im purple
no
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
