Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize