i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
