Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
