I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
third nipple confirmed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
