The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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