just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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