He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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