Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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