do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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