Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
