opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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