grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
