i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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