How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
