Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so let's talk penis.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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