Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize