You took a bar mat shot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you are never too drunk for berry picking
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
