But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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