I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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