I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize