So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
