So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
