And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize