First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
