thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
