Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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