Kiss
Puke
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
