My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
