She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
