I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
