Dual....:-)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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