Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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