Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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