She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
