just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize