his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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