You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
