yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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