I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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