Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize