took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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