The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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