My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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