So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
