Me too!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize