Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The adults are the big ones right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
