i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
