I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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