come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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