Just mADE A PArabola og urine
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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