so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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