States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
