Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The air was thick with penises
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
