I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
