Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Brb crying the tears of my youth
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
