when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
