I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
