If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
