batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize