you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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