I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
