Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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