is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
