The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
