I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
